The Character Exchange Programme

Written by Anakin McFly

Fish United: Since Keanu's characters are exactly the same in all his films, no one will notice if we swap them about for kicks. We're bound to get the exact same movie in the end, and so we fired up our interdimensional portals and did some strategic kidnapping armed with large bottles of chloroform.

We reckon that this first swap will be a resounding success that will go completely unnoticed. Apart from how the two characters (due to both being played by Keanu) are exactly the same, they also share the same initials! thus upping the similarity.

And so, here's Tom Ludlow waking up one bright and sunny morning in San Dimas, California...

- end transmission -

San Dimas, California.

Tom: *wakes up* *looks around* What the *beep*?

TWO MINUTES LATER.

The dead body of Captain Logan lies soaking in a pool of blood. His gun is gone. Never again will he go Darth Vader on his son, although, alas, being dead and all, he will never again get the opportunity to insist on his paternal relationship to young master Logan. The memory of that fateful shouting match still hangs heavy in the air:

"What the *beep* is going on here?"
"You watch your language, young man!"
"Who the *beep* are you? What do you want with me? What am I doing here? Who are you working for?"
"I'm your FATHER, that's who I am! – hey, give me back- GIVE ME BACK THAT GUN!-"
"Oh no. Not until you answer my questions."
"We don't have time for games, Ted!"
"Who the *beep* is Ted?"
"Ted, this isn't funny. Give me back that g- ark!"

But it is too late.

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER.

A horde of police cars drive up the street towards Ted's house. Dead bodies litter the street; behind closed doors, residents huddle in fear, wondering just what happened to the once amiable teenager they all knew so well, stalking down the streets, declaring that he was a cop and wanted to know what the *beep* was going on, shooting anyone who asked him to calm down...

"and this just in: Police have reported that a wild gunman is on the loose in San Dimas. He has been identified as Theodore Logan, who reportedly killed his father, Captain Logan, before going on a bloody rampage in his neighbourhood..."

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