Pizza

Written by Anakin McFly

2015
Hill Valley, California

Hi everyone! Meet me. The pizza. Everything started that day, when I was resting nice and comfy in my miniscule size inside the pizza wrapper. The freezer was so nice and cold! I shivered in delight... and then someone picked me up. It was a woman, I think. Couldn't really tell. Anyway, she picked me up and dumped me in the trolley. I think I was on offer.

After quite a while, I heard a door open.

"Welcome home, Jennifer," said the electronic thingy at the doorway.

"How 'bout ME?" I silently screamed. "Why don't you greet me too, huh?" I fumed. But of course no one heard and I was placed at the back of some other freezer. Ooh, what a nice cold temperature! I saw the ice cream tub next to me.

"Hello!" I said. But the ice cream didn't reply. So either it was being rude or the freezer had frozen its brains. I got scared. I hoped the freezer wouldn't get my brains too. I don't have much, and I can't afford to lose any.

A few days later, someone took me out of the freezer, removed my wrapper and dumped me into the microwave.

It was hot. I started sweating like crazy. It got hotter and hotter and I felt myself expanding. I was growing! I could feel the cheese melting... it felt so nice. And the mushrooms... oh, the mushrooms! My crust got crispy and I started feeling yummy. There was a 'ding' sound and the microwave opened. Someone took me out, and I could see the steam radiating off me. I smelt so good!

The person placed me on the table and two more homo sapiens crowded round. I could see myself now... oozing with cheese and covered with mushrooms. Ooh, the cheese! And the mushrooms... oh, the mushrooms!

"Eat me!" I murmured happily, unaware of anything else.

The three people each took a slice of me, and suddenly I could see things from all the different portions. The three mouths came closer.

"Eat me!" I whispered in my bliss. The teeth came closer... I started feeling a little scared. Those teeth... so sharp... they could tear me apart in one bite...

Closer and closer... that guy didn't brush his teeth...

Closer and closer... I was suddenly overwhelmed with panic.

"NO!"

None heard as the teeth closed down on me. I was plunged into a world of darkness... then, light. Just light.

"Of course!" I thought, remembering. "'All pizza goes to heaven!'"

Delighted, I waited, wondering what would happen next. I was picked up and put down on another table.

"Pizza for dinner today, guys."

Oh oh. This was not good.

They pulled me apart again. Again I saw the approaching mouths. The teeth.

"NO! How can they do this to me! They can't! NO! They ca..."

- Transmission Ended -

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