Take-the-Red-Pill-Free-Your-Mind-Go-Down-the-Rabbit-Hole

Written by Anakin McFly

(To the tune of 'Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious')

Morpheus:
Welcome, Neo, take a seat; my name is Morpheus, hi
I know the world's been bugging you and you don't quite know why
It's like a splinter in your mind that's driving you insane
But if you pay attention, now, I promise I'll explain; just-

Take-The-Red-Pill-Free-Your-Mind-Go-Down-The-Rabbit-Hole
Please try not to panic; we've got things under control
Now you're in a prison, yeah, but soon you shall be free
Just let the mirror eat you up and sing along with me!

Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye
Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye

Neo:
Tell me what the Matrix is!

Morpheus:
No one can do that, pal
You've got to see it for yourself, and very soon you shall
Oh, have you ever had a dream that you were sure was real?
What if you couldn't wake from it? haha; how would that feel?

Neo:
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

Trinity:
Please-Stay-Calm-Don't-Panic-Now-It's-Gonna-Be-All-Right

Morpheus:
When you see the gooey pink stuff, go towards the light!

Neo:
BlurbleGlurbleUrgleWurgleMurgleDurgle- NO!
GurgleNurgleLurgleFurgleYurgleZurgle... whoa.

Squiddies:
Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye
Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye
Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye
Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye

Morpheus:
Welcome-To-The-Real-World-Neo-Please-Don't-Faint-On-Me
Get off the ground and get some clothes; this movie is PG

Neo:
Am I dead?

Morpheus:
Oh, far from it; you've not been more alive

Architect (aside):
I hope this Neo guy does better than the other five.

NEXT DAY

Morpheus:
What-Is-Real?-It's-Hard-To-Say,-The-Brain's-A-Tricky-Thing

Neo:
Why is it that when we talk we always have to sing?

Morpheus:
Shut up; here's the truth now – your whole world is kind of fake-

Neo:
...Whoa.

Morpheus (aside):
-Why'd I get the feeling this is all some huge mistake?

Neo:
Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye?

Morpheus:
Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye.

Neo:
Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye
Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye

Morpheus:
Shut-Up-Neo-Let-Us-Fight-I-See-You-Know-Kung-Fu
(If you are the One, then why do I keep pwning you?)
Don't just TRY to hit me; bash my head in if you can!
Nothing's real, you get it? Why do you not understand?

Mouse, Tank, Apoc, misc crew:
Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye
Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye

Fake Construct People:
Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye
Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye

Morpheus:
See all those people walking 'bout? They could be agents, yeah
If they're not one of us, they're one of them, so just beware
IF I WORE A RED DRESS, WOULD YOU LOOK AT ME INSTEAD?

Neo:
Uh...

Morpheus:
You'd better pay attention now or you might end up dead.

Neo:
Um.

Morpheus:
When you free your mind there will be nothing you can't do
Beat an agent, fly around-

Neo:
Could I dodge bullets too?

Morpheus:
When you're ready, I'm quite sure that you would not need to-

Tank (spoken): We've got trouble. Squiddies.

Morpheus:
...But that can wait, so let's get back; today's lesson is through.

Neo:
Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye
Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye

INVISIBLE CHORUS:
Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye
Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye

(TIMELAPSE TO END OF MOVIE)

Neo:
I know you're there, I feel you, and I know that you're afraid
Of us, and change, the future, but there're things that must be said
'Cos anything is possible, the world is gonna know
You have a choice to make now; you'll determine where we go-

Watch-Me-Fly-Into-The-Sky-Oh-Yeah-I-Am-So-Cool
There is no spoon, the cake's a lie, although I know it's cruel
But the world is gonna change and it will be so fun
Just two more films and and games and then this franchise will be done!

#