There is No Hair

Written by Anakin McFly

Sometimes, Morpheus had to admit that he felt a little jealous. Everywhere he went, he saw hair – hair in the Matrix, hair in the real world, but none on his head. Although he would never admit it, that was one of the reasons why he was so enthusiastic about unplugging people from the Matrix. When they came out of the pods and into the real world, each of them were as bald as him. It gave him some comfort to know that he was not alone.

But after a while, their hair grew back... unlike his, which would never grow again.

There had been some error, some glitch, when the machines had grown him; something wrong with his DNA, nothing serious, just something that made it impossible for hair to grow on his head.

Morpheus wished that he had known that earlier. If he had, he would not have decided to stay bald while inside the Matrix. Morpheus had once thought it cool to be bald – what was hair, after all, but unneccessary insulation? – but times had changed. It just so happened that on the day he'd been unplugged, he had just shaved his head. Which effectively meant that his residual self image would forever be bald.

No hair in the Matrix, no hair in the real world. Not on his head, no sirree.

His longing for those similiarly fated were what had drawn him to Cypher. Now he saw him as a filthy little traitor, but back then, Cypher had just been another fellow bald guy. Morpheus knew that if he were to unplug him them, the man would forever remain hairless in the Matrix. Just like him.

And now Cypher was dead, and Morpheus was lonely once again.

He thought it strange and a little unfair that although so many laws of the Matrix could be bent and broken, one thing he'd never figured out was how to change one's physical appearance.

Maybe if he spent long enough time in the Matrix, his hair would eventually grow back. Maybe. Maybe not. Morpheus remembered the words he'd said to Neo upon the latter's first entry into the Construct:
"Your clothes are different. The plugs in your arms and head are gone. Your hair is changed." And mine hasn't, he'd added silently.

Maybe Neo would know how to give him hair, at least in the Matrix. Neo was The One, after all. But how was he supposed to ask him? He couldn't just go up to the fellow and say, "How's it goin', dude? Could you, like, give me some hair in the Matrix? I don't like being bald, you see, and if you did that, I think it would be most excellent of you!"

That just wouldn't work.

Morpheus shook his bald head in resignation and rolled over in bed.

His life sucked.

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