Arguments & Rebuttals
"Whenever a larger project is announced with Keanu's name attached, any fan will sit back and wait for the trashing to begin."
– ckage
The arguments presented here are all actual ones spotted on the Internet and other places. They tend to be variants on the same few themes, some of which don't make much sense. Honestly, what would Keanu be doing in a paper bag? Was he trying to gain a better understanding of what life is like for his sandwiches? If he carries on like this, he's going to need a major intervention before someone one day finds him standing on a street corner cheerfully lathering himself with mustard.
- Keanu can't act his way out of a paper bag (WITH PICTURES)
- Keanu can't act his way out of a wet paper bag
- Keanu can't act his way out of a perforated paper bag
- Keanu is really just a tree (WITH PICTURES)
- Keanu is really just an Ent
- Keanu is really just a plank of wood
- My plastic ruler has more charisma than Keanu
- Keanu is dum
- Keanu is secretly a robot
- Keanu always plays Ted
- Keanu always plays Neo
- Keanu only got famous because he's lucky
- Keanu only got famous because he's pretty
- Keanu only got famous because "women want his groin in their mouths"
- Keanu ruined all the movies he was in
- Keanu is the worst actor ever
- Keanu is the worst American actor ever
- Keanu is the worst Canadian actor ever