FAQ: WINM
(Answers from webmaster Anakin McFly unless specified otherwise)
Q: Okay, what's with the dinosaurs.
A: WINM strives to be the Keanu Reeves fansite with the most dinosaurs. As such, actually having dinosaurs on the site goes a long way towards achieving this goal.
Q: Do you honestly believe that Keanu is a good actor?
A: We think he's at least a competent one, and that anyone who manages to get typecast as both Neo and Ted cannot in any way be considered a bad actor.
Q: But I really don't think he can act!
A: Sure, you do you. We're not here to change opinions so much as obsessively archive Keanu's life and correct misinformation about him, especially those which people use as a basis for all sorts of weird and occasionally insulting conclusions. It's one thing to think that Keanu can't act; it's another to think that he always plays Ted, or says 'whoa' 57 times in every film, or has only one expression, or is unintelligent, American, white, or "a very handsome Chinese man".
Q: What happens when you lose a debate over Keanu's acting skillz?
A: Lose? We don't lose! We win! We win! We're the Keanu SWAT Team! That's our job, that's what we do!
Q: Are you in contact with Keanu Reeves?
A: No.
Q: But I want to contact Keanu! How can I reach him?
A: Fill a silver bowl with water from the springs of Beirut and lay within it the silken petals of a dozen roses planted by the seventh son of a seventh daughter. Take it out into the moonlight on a second of September, and, while standing next to your local news agency, hold the bowl towards the stars as you slowly chant a recipe for a hot pastrami sandwich.
With luck, you'll get a news feature written about you that might just possibly attract the attention of Mr. Reeves himself.
Q: How much time do you spend running this website?
A: It would only frighten you.
Q: With all the bad things happening in the world, how could you waste time on a celebrity fansite?
A: For many people, fandom is their one escape from the harsh realities of life, and the only place where they can put aside their problems for a bit and just relax. I've had fans write to me thanking me for this space, and how WINM and Keanu fandom in general helped see them through various traumas in their life – ranging from huge ordeals like coping with terminal illnesses and abusive relationships, to the more mundane stresses of day-to-day living. This site is escapism for many of us, and it's precisely because of all the bad things happening in the world that we need these moments to step away from the pain and breathe. I'm honoured to be able to provide that.
Q: What's all this 'The Anu' stuff?
A: 'Keanu' is a Hawaiian name made up of 'ke', which means 'the', and 'anu', which means (derivatively) 'cool breeze over the mountains'. Replaces the first half with English, and you get 'The Anu'.
Q (from AuntieV_aka_Slagg): I have an almost compulsive need to say "Dude" at the end of every sentence. Is this not evidence of true Keanu manifestation? Am I not speaking in tongues?
ckage: No. It's evidence of Tedification. I would stay out of phonebooths if I were you.
Q: What's this fish thing all about?
A: We refer to Keanu critics as fish. We don't quite know why. Here's our Database of Fish, if you are interested.
Q: Are you gay?
A: Yes.
Q: Are you gay for Keanu?
A: No.
Q: I see I have been quoted on your site, and would prefer not to be there. Can you take it down?
A: Sure. Just drop me an e-mail at admin(at)whoaisnotme.net.
Q: I have an article that's not in your archives and I'd like to give it to you!
A: If it's available online or in soft copy, e-mail it (or a link) to me at admin(at)whoaisnotme.net with article details (title, author, source, date published) included; if you have a hard copy, don't type it out yet because I might already have it – that's happened before and I wouldn't like you to unnecessarily spend time typing it out. Just send me the details and a brief summary of what the article is about. Thanks!
Q: The e-mail address admin(at)whoaisnotme.net doesn't work.
A: That sucks. In that case, send stuff to starwarsisnotdead(at)gmail.com, and tell me that the e-mail address doesn't work. If you're a spambot, shoo. While it's tempting and necessary, I do not wish to purchase any penis-lengthening herbs, nor do I wish to assist you in your business endeavours for $15 million dollars. Unless you're Keanu, in which case I totally do. (The business endeavours for $15 million dollars, not the penis-lengthening herbs.)
Q: I like your site! How can I support it?
A: Something as small as leaving a comment in the guestbook would be great, and if you can afford it, donations are always welcome. At present, this site runs wholly off the donations of Keanu fans. Expenses currently run at about USD$60 a year for webhosting and the domain name combined. Thanks very much to all who have donated! Your contributions are highly appreciated.
Q: I found an article in the archive that I consider offensive and defamatory of Keanu. Could you take it down?
A: This site is first and foremost an archive, and that includes articles that present Keanu in a negative light. All of it contributes in some way to Keanu history, and as such they will be kept in. This is by no means a gesture of support for any article in question. However, if you are Mr. Reeves' legal representation and wish to remove an article that's guilty of libel, that's a different matter. Shoot me an e-mail.