"It is hard to believe but you will meet the occasional person in life who doesn't like Keanu Reeves much. These scumbags walk around pretending to be normal people when really they should be forced to wear giant hats saying “Dumb butthole here.” Until this is mandatory, and it will be soon if the government starts listening to my letters instead of warning me not to send them, do your best not to invite these people to movie night."

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