THINGS YOU CAN FIND IN KEANU'S BEARD
|Things You Can Find in Keanu's Beard|
1. A tiny wee world where fairies dance and sing and make happy.
2. All the stuff he puts in his big bag. Ever noticed that he either flaunts the bag, or the beard? Yeah, that's right.
3. An orange TicTac from Wednesday.
4. Bits of papparazzi he had with his pizza...
5. The Complete Works of William Shakespeare.
6. The Matrix
7. No spoons, though.
8. A mislaid cigarette.
9. A wallaby (we all know that everyone with beards secretly owns an Australian marsupial )
13. a wheatstalk penny from 1957
16. His telephone/address book. I heard he lost it once.
17. some very lucky lady's fingers...
18. Buzeeworkerant's meds
20. 50 koalas holding his hair tight
21. Chopsticks and a lei.
22. The first step of the Pharos of Alexandria, a chip of the Spear of Longinus, the façade of one of the Atlantis buildings, and my car's spare keys!
23. A single pearl...
24. My cell phone. Give it BACK.
28. Some weetabix he misplaced that very morning
29. All his shaving appliances. That's why he can't find them.
30. Oh, the mobile phone which they stole from me some weeks ago. Now I know where I can find it!
31. The Holy Grail
34. Elvis. He's not dead nor was he abducted by aliens.
35. Emilia Earhart...and her airplane.
36. Carrie Anne Moss, lucky her
37. The key to his heart
38. Filth! Blasphemy! Lots of very, very small homosexual heretics. Filthy fags, going around leaving gates open, forcing good, decent heteros to close them later.
47. Polar bears
48. the lost city of Atlantis
53. A key to the city. (of Los Angeles)
54. One comfortably settled down owl.
55. Jimmy Hoffa
56. A partridge in a pear tree