Cracky Bebop

Written by Anakin McFly

He saw his namesake in his dream, all plump and juicy and green. Its titular spikes shone in the non-light that filled Neo's cabin a universe or more away.

"Hayy, baby," Spike murmured, reaching out tendrils of gentle thought to caress the other Spike's smooth, green body. "Hayy."

In the dark, next to him, Faye Valentine's eyes snapped open.

She rolled over in time to see a huge smile spread across Spike's face.

"Hayyyy," she heard him say again.

"...Spike?"

Spike evidently wasn't listening. "Yeahh, baby. Point at me. Prick me. I like that. I like it when you do that. Mmm."

Faye blinked in disbelief. "Spike?"

"Shut up faye u disgusting whore," Spike muttered briefly, and then the smile reappeared. "Mmm, yeah, Spike. Yeah, baby. Hayyy. Hands off Neo, he's mine."

Angry tears formed in Faye's eyes. "SPIKE!"

Spike rolled over and let out a giant snore.

Faye blinked the tears from her eyes. She thought he loved her. Her. Not some narcissistic threesome sex fantasy of... of whatever it was he was dreaming about...

Her shoulders heaved and she let out a giant sob. Throwing back the covers, Faye fled from her bed.

Heroin, she thought. I need heroin.

She burst into Ein's room and dug into the fur of the sleeping dog until she located her secret stash that she'd tied to him.

Ein opened an eye and looked quizzically at her.

"Go to sleep, Ein," Faye insisted through her tears. "Spike... he..." She took a deep breath and tried to compose herself. "I just need to overdose on heroin."

"Need my help?" Vicious asked, strolling through the door in a motherfucking sweater. "With the heroin, or with Spike... doesn't matter. Or we could dance. I like dancing."

"It's three in the morning," Faye said tiredly.

"Hmm," Vicious thought. "You have a point." He looked down at his sweater, hugged himself, and left.

Faye took her heroin and went to sit down somewhere to wallow in her angst and overdose.

Jet entered the room and sighed. "Faye, is that heroin?"

She looked up, guilty.

"Yes," Faye said in a small voice.

"You're overdosing again, aren't you?"

Faye looked down. "Yes."

Jet shook his head and pulled up a chair to sit down next to her. "Tell me what's bothering you."

"I..."

"It's Spike, isn't it?"

Faye hesitated, and then unleashed a flood of tears. "Yes!" she said. "Yes..."

Jet patted her on her back. "It's okay. You can tell me all about it. I won't judge you."

Faye let out a giant sniff. "Spike," she started. "Spike... he... he was talking in his sleep, and... was having some... weird sex dream... and it wasn't about me!"

That did it. Faye burst out bawling like a baby on illegal steroids.

Jet pulled her into a hug and rocked her gently to and fro as Faye cried into his shoulder. "It's okay," he murmured soothingly. "Everything is going to be all right, Faye. Everything is going to be all right."

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