Dementors Are Most Heinous

Written by Anakin McFly

New Kenselton Hotel, Block F, 4th floor

The Dementor hovered in the air and advanced menacingly towards them.

"Do something!" Hermione shrieked from the stairwell.

Neo picked the dropped wand off the ground. He looked at it, then looked back at Hermione. "What do I do?" he yelled.

"It feeds off happy thoughts! Think of something happy, then point the wand at the Dementor and say, 'Expecto Patronum'!"

Neo tried that. The wand asploded.

Hermione face-palmed.

"Happy thought," Neo muttered, looking at the broken wand. "Happy thought..."

An idea hit him. He chucked the wand aside and grabbed hold of Ted Logan.

Ted yelped.

Neo shoved him at the Dementor. "EXPECTO PATRONUM!" he shouted.

The Dementor looked at Ted.

Ted looked at the Dementor.

The Dementor asploded.

Ted's shoulders slumped. He wandered away looking uncharacteristically depressed and refused to talk to anyone. Neo picked up the shards of asploded!wand and walked over asploded!Dementor to hand them somewhat guiltily to Hermione. "Sorry," he said.

She shook her head, took the pieces of wand, and left muttering something about incompetent Muggles.

Ted found a corner and sat there, moping and being emo, sapped of all his happy thoughts by the Dementor after being used as a Patronus.

Any other person would have been subjected to the Dementor's Kiss, and rendered soulless to the day they died.

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