The Lord of the Rings - The Short Version

Written by Anakin McFly

"Shire... Baggins..." said the black rider, expelling a load of bad breath on the poor hobbit before him.

"There! He’s over there!" said the hobbit, pointing at a random direction away from him. The Nazgul turned and went off, sniffing the air. All he smelt, however, was Aragorn’s stench from a few thousand miles away. It didn’t help.

Anyway, he somehow arrived at Bag End and knocked on the little round door. "Little hobbit, little hobbit, let me in!" he said in a sweet voice.

Frodo was scared. "Not by the hairs of my footy-foot-foot!"

"Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll..."

"NOOOOOOOO!" Frodo swung the door open. "What do you want?"

The rider pointed at the One Ring. "That."

"Oh. Phew. I thought you wanted to eat me or something." The hobbit picked up the ring. "Here you go."

"Thanks! Have a nice day!"

"You’re welcome!"

Frodo closed his door and the Nazgul rode off to Sauron with the Ring.

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"WHAT?" The Eye of Sauron blinked in astonishment, staring as the Black Rider deposited the Ring next to it. "This isn’t supposed to happen!"

Considering The Eye was, well, an eye, I don’t know how it could speak. But in weird fanfics like this, anything can happen.

Sauron was so shocked that he died.

And they all lived happily ever after.

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