Avoidance is complicated; I think that there's definitely a period of time when avoidance is really the only healthy option, because the person needs that space of time to create distance from the trauma and to heal. But once that point of time is over, avoidance can make things worse, especially if it ends up spreading to other areas. That happened to me - I started out avoiding X, which then led to avoiding things that reminded me of X, and then avoiding things that reminded me of things that reminded me of X, etc, and it was kind of scary how quickly that expanded to include practically everything in my life - including many things that had previously been good. It was a horrible way to live.

My counsellor at that time recommended I check out this book - 'Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life' - and it turned out to be extremely helpful. It's Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, basically. Among other things it talks about recognising that triggers in themselves are actually harmless; it's the thing they remind you of that is harmful, and triggers are just the brain's way of protecting you.

In some cases there's a definite link, like if you eat something that smells weird and you get sick, and then develop an aversion to anything that smells like that. It helps you stay alive. But in many other cases the link is superficial - like if you get attacked by a guy who drives a red truck and from then on get terrified of red trucks or trucks in general, and as you repeatedly avoid them, your brain starts to associate them with danger, and the fear only grows. One of the ways to then heal from that is thus to slowly expose yourself to those triggers outside of the harmful context, and over time as you find that it doesn't actually lead to harm, the triggers will start to lose that power of association. So I did that - it was painfully hard at times, but it did work. I'm no longer affected by certain triggers that only a year or two ago would have sent me into a panic attack and psychologically incapacitated me for about a week or two, and it's been tremendously freeing. I'm now down to that inner circle of 'things that remind me of X'. I'm not sure how much further I'd be able to go, but I have a good counsellor.

But these things differ from person to person, and even among different issues for the same person, and avoidance is still often the best tactic especially if the trauma is still fresh. Take care.

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I absolutely trust Keanu's choices.
I don't trust Roth. I have not seen Hostel (either one) nor will I. I certainly won't see Green Inferno.
I know there are directors who manipulate actors - and crew - in nasty and dangerous ways. I seriously doubt that anyone is going to getaway with doing anything like that to Keanu.

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yep. But I agree with you that it's unlikely Keanu could be manipulated by Roth. By other directors, possibly, but Roth seems to be a bit of a Keanu fanboy, and I don't think he has much power over him.

So no, I'm not "excited" or titillated (quite the opposite) at the prospect of seeing him as a hapless victim. As far as being manipulated by directors, I keep imaging Shibumi as a film with Keanu directed by Werner Herzog. It sounds artistically gorgeous, but I'm not sure that either actor or director would emerge unscathed.

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(I was never raped or sexually assaulted

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I was. I've been open about it for years but yeah, was very brutally raped 18 years ago now. But I'm OK. It left no lasting sexual issues with me and have zero issues with intimacy.

However, do have PTSD from several things, unrelated but around the same time. One thing after another after another.

Today, at 42 I'm stronger, more independent and help others whenever possible. Used those experiences to become a better person and refused to let it eat me alive inside out. Tried the counselor route, it just wasn't for me. Helping others, helped me I think.

"your mileage may vary" as the saying goes.

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EDIT: I just looked at those photos. those were ok.

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I did promise it wasn't too bad :)

Dark humor may be lost on some, but I relish it. Hemlock Grove has Bill Skarsgard in it. One of the many ASkars siblings [he comes from a large family!] but Bill looks a lot like his big brother. Anyway, I enjoyed Hemlock as the schlocky, campy series it is [based off a book] it would always grab me at the end of the episode which made me hit play next episode until 4 or 5am. LOL.

Roth is more diverse than people give him credit for.

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"your mileage may vary" as the saying goes.

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yeah. Things that help one person or with one particular issue might be harmful to another, and vice versa. Helping others does help me too for some other stuff, but for other things it's been tremendously healing to just be able to talk things through with another person. I've been lucky, though; current counsellor is great, as was my first, while with the previous two I never felt like I was getting anywhere.

I used to love dark humour to bits. I seem to have lost some of my taste for it, but it's slowly coming back.

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I used to love dark humour to bits. I seem to have lost some of my taste for it, but it's slowly coming back.

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Well, we'll just have to fix that, stat! ;)

PS: Thanks.

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https://twitter.com/icepost/status/458562385368735745/photo/1

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Cool. Hoping there will be screenings to attend here in this state, in the near future. [ We had a SxS screening here in 2012 at least]

No need to be sorry. Such is life. It is filled with good experiences, bad experiences, traumatic experiences and it is up to us on how we let those define us. I refused to allow the bad/traumatic to define me.
The person I am today experienced many things, good and bad. The woman I've become is an independent woman with a strong voice and I like her. Thanks.

This 2012 piece in The New Yorker the Wachowskis' say the same thing as Elwes, too.

"They sent their script to Hanks, and he agreed to meet with them. On the way to his office in Santa Monica, the siblings received a phone call from their agent, who told them that Warner Bros. had decided to hold off on a distribution deal. “Cloud Atlas” had been subjected to an economic-modelling process and the numbers had come back too low. The template that had been used, according to the Wachowskis, was Darren Aronofsky’s “The Fountain” (2006), because it had three autonomous story lines set in different eras; “The Fountain,” which had a mixed critical response, had lost almost twenty million dollars.

“The problem with market-driven art-making is that movies are green-lit based on past movies,” Lana told me. “So, as nature abhors a vacuum, the system abhors originality. Originality cannot be economically modelled.” The template for “The Matrix,” the Wachowskis recalled, had been “Johnny Mnemonic,” a 1995 Keanu Reeves flop." Read the rest, here:
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/09/10/120910fa_fact_hemon

Now, I don't think that movies like The Avengers or Captain America shouldn't be made, because there are, after all, a lot of people who enjoy seeing them and find them entertaining. However, calling such movies "great" or "masterpieces" is ludicrous.

They are fun, yes, but there is nothing more than that to them.
Seeing that The Avengers got 92% on Rotten Tomatoes, and 8,2 on IMDb makes me question people's common sense.

Are Marvel superhero movies really better than classics such as the original Star Wars trilogy (the prequels were quite awful, though) or The Matrix (1999)?

As for Cloud Atlas, it is one of the best films in recent cinema history, yet it flopped and received mixed reviews; it had an amazing plot, characters and special effects but the Academy obviously doesn't care about that.